From the press box at Wario Palace, where the chandeliers swing low and the dugouts smell faintly of garlic, Ryan — The Dealmaker — opened Season 3 with the kind of statement game that leaves a scoreboard operator winded. Final from Week 1: Ryan 10, Yash 1. The story split cleanly down the middle, and both halves wore the same name. On the home mound, Ryan's Boo authored a near-complete masterpiece — eight innings, six hits, one earned run, and eight strikeouts. It was the sort of outing that makes a manager want to frame the box score. On the other side, Yash's Boo found nothing but trouble, surrendering eight earned runs over 7.1 innings while a parade of Ryan hitters teed off. League officials confirmed nothing unusual about two pitchers sharing a name; the spectral mound is simply a popular profession these days. Ryan never trailed for long, scratching a pair across in the second, then waiting patiently before the dam burst. The seventh brought three runs, and the eighth added four more — a late avalanche that turned a tidy lead into a rout. By then Yash had emptied the bullpen, and reliever Waluigi entered to give up three earned runs and four hits without managing to record a single out. A rough night's work, and the kind of line that haunts a press box note. The damage was spread generously. Paratroopa went 3-for-5 with two driven in, Peach matched the hit total at 3-for-4 with two RBI, and King Boo provided the loudest swing, a home run good for two runs. All told, Ryan rapped out 19 hits to Yash's six. Yash's lone run came in the fifth, with Toad collecting two of those scattered hits and an RBI, and Monty Mole adding a 2-for-4 night that had nowhere to land. The win lifts Ryan to 3-2 on the young season, comfortably in the upper half behind the BIG CITY BANGERS and the Banana Ballers. Yash, meanwhile, drops to 0-2 and a run differential that needs a long stay in the sunshine. Filed from above the stadium lights — where one Boo soared and the other sank. — Inky the Blooper